Death Becomes Her
The Victorians cared very much about how outward appearances reflected inward sentiments and morality. One way they expressed themselves was through mourning clothes and jewelry. Queen Victoria famously wore black from the time of Prince Albert's death in 1861 till her death some 40 years later. Mourning regulations were handy social signals to others. Deaths were announced via mourning stationery and sealed with black wax. In Daily Life in Victorian England, Sally Mitchell reminds us that "Mourning clothes made other people aware of a loss and prevented intrusive personal remarks."
By Unsigned, anonymous commercial artist (Source: Jay’s Dressmakers and Milliners.) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
The Business of Mourning
According to Kristine Hughes (The Writer’s Guide to Everyday Life in Regency and Victorian England), early in the century, ladies' magazines "regularly featured fashion plates depicting proper funeral attire, along with articles detailing proper etiquette for the occasion."
She goes on to tell us that linen draper shops offered mourning departments. Why? It was a big, big business. Who didn't know someone who had died? Women were limited to the colors black and then grey but might creatively use different fabrics, textures, and styling to indicate status, wealth, and personal taste. Hughes claims that "one of the first categories of clothing to be mass-produced was mourning clothes." Believably so! Contrary to the queen's lengthy example, a widow was expected to mourn her husband for only two years - most people didn't live as long as Victoria, and there was little time to waste. Mitchell reminds us that the widow "could moderate her funereal clothing a bit after a while to 'half-mourning,' which consisted of pinstripe black." Later, this also included grays, especially for the younger generation.
Mitchell continues, "During the first year of mourning, widows were to conduct themselves as veritable social outcasts, forced to refuse all invitations, the only visits permitted being to close relatives or church services, including weddings and christenings." The parent or a child of the deceased was expected to mourn for a shorter period: Twelve months in whole, which eventually moved in color from black to grey before the full-color spectrum was allowed, along with full engagement in social activities. Siblings mourned for six months.
Funerals
Unless the death was a suicide, funerals usually took place in the morning. Mitchell says, "Among the gentry and prosperous middle classes, the coach was draped in black velvet, and the horses wore black plumes," and "Male friends or hired mourners called mutes walked alongside. Sometimes, they carried the heavy black pall draped over the coffin. Everyone attending the funeral wore black garments made of wool and crepe. Men wore black gloves; flowing bands of black cloth known as weepers were tied around their hats. Even among the poorest, it was important for immediate relatives to wear black clothing."
No family? Few friends? No problem. Mourners would be hired. The British newspaper The Daily Express tells us that mutes "looked tragic during the service and doubled as waiters for the wake. Dickens despised them, and in the funeral in Martin Chuzzlewit, he describes: 'Two mutes… looking as mournful as could reasonably be expected of men with such a thriving job in hand.'"
Black Baubles
One of the most fascinating, and perhaps creepy, aspects of Victorian mourning was the jewelry it inspired.
Items made of jet grew popular after the Queen wore it upon the death of Prince Albert, a custom she did not abandon clear to her own death in 1901. According to Hughes, "Jet jewelry has been associated with mourning for some time, though it was not mass-produced before the early 19th century. Jet is made from the fossilized driftwood of the monkey puzzle tree and is also found in the form of slate." Mitchell adds," Very close relatives might wear a brooch or watch fob woven from the dead person’s hair."
Yes, hair.
Hughes tells us that, "Jewelry made from the hair of the deceased was popular from 1790 to 1840, and this, too, was incorporated into mourning jewelry, being given settings of black or white enamel, jet with gold, and often embellished with the words 'In Memoriam.'"
Sometimes, they would take a tooth from a deceased and mount it in a ring or a necklace. They didn't eat much sugar then, so contrary to current opinion, their teeth were pretty good. Just, perhaps, not pretty in the finger.
Memento Mori
Memento Mori is Latin for, Remember... you have to die. During the early days of photography, the Victorians would take pictures of the recently deceased in their homes, gardens, or even beds, posed doing something they would have done while alive. It may be a macabre way to remind survivors to think of life's fleetingness and number their days. The oddest, most morbid photos included babies who had passed away and settled neatly into their prams.
What's Old Is New Again
There is indeed nothing under the sun, and mourning is big business again. Black still predominates, and while pictures of those passed are not popular, The Daily Express reports that "Rent A Mourner, an Essex-based company providing sad people for funerals when (as its website delicately puts it) 'here may be a low turnout expected.' Bookings are also on the up because people want something more dramatic than a mousey British send-off. They want sobbing, hair tearing, and breast-beating in the way of excitable foreigners."
This may be an answer to temporary job needs. As Assistant Editor Jennifer Selway puts it, "Yes, a career in professional mourning could be the answer. Short hours, free booze, and all the ham sandwiches you can eat."
{Main photo credit: The Children's Museum of Indianapolis [CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons. https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=15093762}
{Advert for mourning photo credit: By Unsigned, anonymous commercial artist (Source: Jay's Dressmakers and Milliners.) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons}
{Queen Victoria photo credit: Used with purchase permission from iStockPhoto}
{Jet Mourning Jewelry photo credit: Jet Mourning Jewelry By Detlef Thomas [CC BY-SA 2.0 de (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/de/deed.en)], via Wikimedia Commons. https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=824175}