English Ladies in Waiting

Hampton Court Palace

Having close friends is an important part of most women's lives, from girlhood through womanhood. These friends might be especially valuable when the woman's position is exalted, public, and potentially treacherous - such friendships take on an even more critical role. When Oprah Winfrey started her empire, she brought along Gayle King. When Kate Middleton was preparing to become Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, her sister Pippa was her constant companion. And when Anne Boleyn went to court to stay, she took her friends, too. Among them was her longtime friend, who would ultimately become her Chief Lady and Mistress of Robes, Meg Wyatt.

Ladies in waiting were companions at church, cards, dance, and hunt. They tended to their mistress when she was ill or anxious and shared her joys and pleasures. They did not do menial tasks - there were servants for that - but they remained in charge of essential elements of the Queen's household, such as her jewelry and wardrobe. They were gatekeepers; during the reign of Elizabeth I, small bribes were offered for access to Her Majesty. The Queen was expected to assist her maids of honor in becoming polished and finding a good match; they, in turn, were loyal, obedient, and ornaments of the court. Married women had more freedom, better rooms, and usually more contact with the Queen.

In her excellent book Ladies in Waiting, Anne Somerset quotes a lady-in-waiting to Queen Caroline, saying, "Courts are mysterious places ... Intrigues, jealousies, heart-burnings, lies, dissimulations thrive in (court) as mushrooms in a hot-bed." This is precisely the kind of place where one wants to know whom one can trust. Somerset tells us, "At a time when virtually every profession was an exclusively masculine preserve, the position of lady-in-waiting to the Queen was almost the only occupation that an upper-class Englishwoman could with propriety pursue." Although direct control was out of their hands, the power of influence, knowledge, gossip, and relationship networks was within the firm grasp of these ladies.

An appointment was not only by the personal choice of the King or Queen but was a political decision as well. Queen Victoria's first stand took place when her new Prime Minister, Robert Peel, meant to replace some of the ladies in her household to reflect the bipartisan English government and keep an equal political balance. According to Maureen Waller in Sovereign Ladies, Victoria was adamant. "'I cannot give up any of my ladies,' she told him at their second meeting. 'What ma'am!' Peel queried, 'Does Your Majesty mean to retain them all?' 'All,' she replied."

Queen Elizabeth I

Keeping a political balance was a concern during the Tudor years, too. Ladies from all the important households were appointed to be among the Queen's ladies, though she held her personal friends in the closest confidence. Queen Katherine of Aragon understandably preferred the ladies who had served her for most of her life until her death. Queen Anne Boleyn numbered both Wyatt sisters among her closest ladies, as well as Nan Zouche. Henry told his sixth wife, Queen Katherine Parr, that she may "choose whichever women she liked to pass the time with her in amusing manners or otherwise accompany her for her leisure."

Many Queens, like Elizabeth I, regularly surrounded themselves with family members, in her case, often those through her mother's side, hoping that they could trust in their loyalty and perhaps, like all of us, because they enjoyed the company of those they loved best.

Hampton Court Palace photo: ID 6744614

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Queen Elizabeth portrait: Walker Art Gallery, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons