Works In Progress

I spend a lot of time straightening my hair, choosing clothes, and accessorizing in an effort to look good. Sharon gives us a timely reminder of what beauty really is.

During a casual conversation one evening my husband remarked, “You used to be nice.” At that moment his remark did not trouble me. I knew what he meant and I thought myself justified in speaking harshly to him on occasion. His indecisiveness, forgotten tasks and messy nightstand were some faults I could not tolerate and so, I’d been “faithful” about pointing them out. But later, his comment bothered me. What did he mean?

How is it we show our best qualities when getting to know someone but once the relationship is secure the need to impress takes a backseat to the “need” to correct? When my expectations of him were dashed and difficult circumstances arose I responded negatively.

I learned that a bad attitude is not a characteristic of a servant of God. He gave me, a wife, specific directions on how to conduct myself. 1 Peter 3 1-4 says: Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.

This is a hard command for me to follow. I wanted to continue expressing my frustrations over his behavior. To me, being kind meant being a push over and I was having none of it. That part of my old self was determined to stick around. The more I responded negatively to my husband over matters that really didn’t matter the more strife developed in our relationship which complicated discussions over things that did. I held on to things long beyond when it was profitable.

Then I stumbled upon this verse: Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:31-32. I became troubled. What right did I have to disobey God’s word?

For so long pride had controlled me. I knew I had to bend, I had to humble myself. Patience is not one of my strong points but I practiced patience with my husband. One way I accomplished this was allowing him to finish speaking before I responded. Another way was that often, even if I “knew” my way to resolve an issue was “best”, I let him resolve it his way instead.

My husband appreciates when I’m helpful towards him, when I speak encouraging instead of critical words and he responds more lovingly to me, too. There are still times I fail at being a gentle and quiet spirit. God’s power is what sets me right. Only with His help can I begin to change and do His will. Our power is not the same as God’s power; His power gives us peace where our power brings disharmony. Which rules in your marriage?

The delightful Selena provides us with an excellent verse and lesson to swim around in your heart and brain…

What’s It Worth?

“Catch the foxes for us, the little foxes that are ruining the vineyards, while our vineyards are in blossom,” (Song of Solomon 2:15, NASB).

You may have heard the expression, “Don’t sweat the small stuff.” I have found it is easier to offer this bit of wisdom to others than it is to live by it myself. Two little goldfish got me sweaty this morning.

We treated our fish for fungus, and the tank filter had to be removed so the medicine would stay in the water. Consequently, the water was getting gross. My husband bought a gravel-cleaning tank siphon a few days ago, and I wanted him to clean out the tank. As he started to do it, I provided much feedback.

I came upstairs pondering how they will probably die, and how I didn’t want any fish in the first place. This was sprinkled with thoughts of how my husband handled the siphon and how I would have done it differently (read: better—even though I couldn’t make it work at all). Suddenly, my heart was pierced with, Who’s more important, the goldfish or your husband? Ouch.

I realize that I get so hung up on minor details that I lose sight of what is important. I want things to be done the right way, but God is showing me that usually means I want things done my way. Letting go of the small stuff is one step toward losing my selfish attitude.

How about you? Have you ever let something little become too big in your eyes?

Dear Father God,

Thank You for Your wisdom. Thank You for showing us that each day is full of small things that make up the big picture, and if we trip over every small thing we won’t do much else but stumble through life. Give us discernment to know when something is important, and to know when to let things go.

In Jesus’ Name,
Amen

How to apply this truth: