Works In Progress

So, I’m kind of a condiment junkie. My two latest great finds are Balsamic Syrup (dreamy over tomatoes or sliced strawberries) and Banana Sauce. Banana Sauce is common in Filipino cooking, and I thought it looked interesting. At $1.79, I didn’t have a lot to lose.

If I were to use a food analogy, my life is pretty, you know, roasted chicken. I have a job to do, I have a house to keep clean, I have kids to raise and a marriage to enjoy and maintain. So that doesn’t leave a lot of time or money for crazy adventures, dream vacations, or wild expeditions. I think most of us have roast chicken (or flank steak) lives. So the zip has to come from the condiments.

This week, my friend Debbie and I are sneaking out to see the movie The Duchesse in the middle of the work day. My husband and I went out to dinner at a restaurant where couples sit together on a love seat. My kids and I are going on a Seattle Chocolate Tour on October 10th, when they have the day off. I still have to come home and do my work and fold the clothes, but planning, and enjoying, those kinds of “condiments” in my normal, American woman-roasted chicken routine keep life full of zip and fun.

The banana sauce is really good on egg rolls, by the way.

A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment? Ecclesiastes 2:24-25

My friend Sherrie sent this to me and I thought it was laugh out loud funny! Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks.

Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes.

There is no fast food.

Each man must take care of his 3 kids; keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, and complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list ‘pretend’ bills with not enough money. In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week.

Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives, and send cards out on time — no emailing.

Each man must also take each child to a doctor’s appointment, a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment. He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent Care.

He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function.

Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house, planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times.

The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.

The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, adorn themselves with jewelry, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep fingernails polished and eyebrows groomed.

During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, back aches, and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties.

They must attend weekly school meetings, church, and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.

They will need to read a book to the kids each night and in the morning, feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair by 7:00 am.

A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information: each child’s birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size and doctor’s name.

The kids vote them off the island based on performance.

The last man wins only if…he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment’s notice.

If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and over again for the next 18-25 years eventually earning the right to be called Mother!

After you get done laughing, send this to as many females as you think will get a kick out of it and as many men as you think can handle it.

Just don’t send it back to me… I’m too busy.