Silence is Golden?
Dear Auntie Agony,
Last school year my best friend didn’t talk to me for a year and i still have no clue why! And now we just started junior high, and i have tons of classes with her, and she’s acting like nothing happened. What should i do?
In this case, silence isn’t golden, it’s downright confusing! Did you try to talk with her last year to ask why she suddenly cut you out? Was she trying to hang with a new crowd – and you weren’t cool enough? Or was she simply trying to expand her circle of friends to include more than just one person…
A lot of times, as young women grow older; they expand their friendships from one BFF to include a group of people they really like for different reasons. You might have a zany friend, a listening-ear friend, a stand-up-for-me friend, a friend who likes to shop, friends on your sports teams. That’s actually healthier, and happier, than just depending on one person to be it all for you.
Maybe your best friend was feeling like she needed some space and wanted to include others in her group. Or maybe she felt like she got too good for you and wanted a more popular group.
The most important question is what do YOU want to do? It seems like your friend has called all the shots so far – when to stop talking, when to start it up – and now it’s your turn. If you’d like to be friends again, ask her what happened last year. It’s best to talk in person, but if you feel nervous, you could always start by texting and then turn it to a conversation after the ball gets rolling. See what she has to say, and if it makes sense to you, you could take slow steps toward hanging out again.
Maybe you’ve already moved on, found other friends and don’t really feel like being close with her any more. Just respond to her politely and kindly, but then move on to your new friends. Haven’t made any yet? Time to expand that group. Your new circle of fantastic friends might be waiting for you, too. Friendship is a gift from God. Spend time with people YOU like to spend time with, who listen to and care about you and make life fun, not just friends you’re “supposed” to like but who haven’t been very nice.
A bowl of vegetables with someone you love is better than steak with someone you hate.
Proverbs 15:17