Dear Auntie Agony,

It seems like my parents are always telling me what to do. Do I always have to do what they want?

Have you ever read the story of Queen Esther in the Bible – or seen the movie made popular by Veggie Tales or the movie One Night With the King? Esther married a king named Xerxes. Xerxes had another queen first, but that queen did not honor him or his requests, so he sent her away and probably had her killed! The law of the land was that everyone, even the king’s wife, must honor him and do as he asked. When it came time for the king to choose another wife, he chose Esther. Esther was beautiful, kind and godly. But even though Esther was queen, she knew that she must respect the rules of those in authority over her. That would be the king, who was also her husband.

Because of the schemes of an evil man, all of the Jewish people in Xerxes’ kingdom were to be killed. The Jewish people begged Esther, who was also Jewish, to go to the king and save them. Because Esther had shown honor and respect to her husband and his rules, he was willing to listen to her request. She asked what she wanted and saved her people from death.

So what’s the point? Dishonor your parents and get sent away to be killed? Respect your parents and become a queen? No! Ha ha! But if you show respect for those in authority over you and live your life showing honor to them and their rules, while you are still young, even if you disagree from time to time they will be willing to listen to your point of view. And perhaps even change their minds! Sometimes parents are busy and say no too quickly, or they might not realize your desires or how much something means to you. They will be more likely to reconsider and treat your thoughts with respect if you honor and obey at other times. Sometimes they answer is still going to be no, because it’s what’s best for you.

Try this three-step plan:

1. Agree to obey. “Yes, I’ll do what you tell me.”
2. Ask to present your point of view. “May I first tell you what I’m thinking?”
3. Give your point of view, with respect, and then obey, even if they don’t change their minds. “Thanks for listening. I’ll do whatever you decide.”

Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do. Ephesians 6:1a NLT